Comparison - how it can steal your happiness

Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison will cause you to overestimate what someone else has and underestimate what you have or in some cases vice versa. I for one am guilty of doing this on a regular basis if not everyday at some point. In a world where we have the internet and social media it's even easier to compare yourself to others and what they have or have achieved.

For me this started when I left high school, I went to an all girls school and until then I guess even being with ALL those girls i never really compared myself to them but as soon as I started college I soon realised that not only were you now being judged by girls but by boys too, this started to worry me as I had always been a bit insecure about having spots (they weren't even bad, I feel awful now for worrying so much!!) and I didn't want people to think I was "ugly". I would spend hours doing my hair, make up and making sure I had the right clothes to wear to college, now this is not unusual for a teenage girl I wouldn't of thought but it sure made getting ready everyday a battle and it was pretty exhausting if I'm honest. This was all because of comparison. I would look at other girls and wish my hair was like theirs or that I had their top and end up feeling disappointed or despondent. 

Although the first year of college was a difficult time due to always comparing myself to others it did get better when I decided to do beauty therapy and it was all girls again, something about the girls all wearing the same uniform was comforting  and it meant I didn't need to compete to look the best. Ironic really as you would think being in an industry where your learning how to "better" yourself via your looks would of made it worse! 

Social media is the WORST for comparison. I read once "social media is basically comparison on steroids"  people only show what they want to show on these sites and of course your not going to show a photo of you in 3 day old pyjamas and sudocrem on your spots are you?  The selfies you see are always going to be when they are made up and looking their best and mostly likely out having fun! 

People are going to showcase themselves as the most aspiration version of themselves on social media, it's human nature to compare yourself to other people and everyone is guilty of it. Not one person is 100% happy but this can cause so many problems as it feeds low self esteem and can even cause anxiety. 

Instagram for me is a problem. I have a love/loathe relationship with it. I love being able to see everyone's photos and exciting things people get up too, but there's the select few that make you feel that your life is not as good and your not succeeding in the way they are and how you think you should be. For me I compare my health to others, this is no good for anyone especially when your in bad health and you more than likely already feel unhappy and disheartened with living with it. I compare on both ends of the spectrum here, I sometimes feel relief when I see people who are worse off than me (add the emotion guilt with this one too!!) and other times I see individuals getting better or they have managed to get out and go somewhere that I would love too and I feel remorse and jealously and no one likes the green eyed monster.
Not only that but I compare myself daily to "the well" as I like to refer to them (haha) and because I cannot do everything they can I get frustrated and dispirited and more often that not get angry and cry because I can't be who I want to aswell.
Now to whoever is reading this you probably see a side to me that looks happy all the time and goes to nice places but your judging me solely on my Instagram and Facebook feed and unfortunately in this day and age that is what we do, we compare our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel.

Whether it be comparing weight, size, job aspirations, wealth or even health it all makes you feel discontented and dissatisfied with your life and that's is not ok. It's time to stop comparing ourselves to others and realise you are YOU and as Dr Seuss said "no one is youer than you"
We need to remember everyone is different and no two people can be the same however hard you try.
Comparison will only make you bitter and happiness comes from your appreciating what's in front of you and not wishing you were doing something else. We don't need to be better than anyone else we just need to learn to love who we are and what we are doing.

So let's appreciate where we are, seek to understand and not judge and let go of comparisons!

Until next time xo

SHARE: